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what’s good babies. just wanted to drop in and share this webnovel ad fb keeps showing me cause the grammar is stunning *💋*

“I was getting distracted by Harold Honeyglobs” -synthetic, drapes

Bret acted as a vampire in the short film version of Shadows but we cut him out because he kept laughing. The Vampire name he chose for himself was "Bret".

Never have enough hot water to cry in the shower and get both legs shaved

“How do you sing the song of the south, eat sweet potato pie, and shut your mouth all at the same time anyway?” -Callen

people always asking me why are you crying and never what album are you crying to

Ok but is David Hasselhoff Orville Peck? open.spotify.com/track/0qvyeSIZ…

When I skeet skeet, and no one’s there for me, Life Alert® is there for me.

I’m just, thinking about things. You know, shadows n stuff. -synthetic, drapes

Some giveaway clothes are harder to part with...like my old Christmas sweatshirt with a velcro detachable reindeer head.

Last night I dreamt I was at a Vegan restaurant with Matthew Fritzler and @colinmbyers when a lady wearing cowhide chaps walked in. #ironic

"How come fifteen minutes of Super Bowl feels like fifteen thousand minutes of Super Bowl..." -Mia Karina #girlproblems

Hello Chicago! Uncommon Grounds on Clark St. at 9pm. #letour #darienclea instagram.com/p/ZomCvqODTK/

@WquinnC thanks! It was such a highlight to have your friendly faces there!

I think I'd finish a lot more books if I'd stop forcing myself to read their boring prefaces.

Here's an idea: "Oinkin Pork", a sizzling sweet LINKIN PARK Tribute band.