So much has happened in the past few days, but there is nothing that can compare to the devastation of learning that wasabi peas are made with artificial Yellow 5 and Blue 1 dyes. This is literally the most tragic thing I’ve heard in ages.

Even paying some homage to the Happy Gilmore dream fantasy sequence. Sexual innuendo. This ad never would have made it on TV a few years ago and now I’m seeing it often. America is indeed healing.

Breaking: The future third ex-wife of billionaire Jeff Bezos has been spotted at a tiki bar in New Jersey.

Today is opening day at the Championships at Wimbledon, one of the oldest and most fabled tournaments in all of sports. Novak Djokovic will be aiming for another record extending 25th grand slam. A fun tradition, only former champions are privy to a separate luxurious locker

If we keep bailing out lunatic left-wing states, they will keep implementing lunatic left-wing policies. foxnews.com/politics/trump…

Zohran Mamdani: “I grew up in a third world country” Zohran Mamdani’s father is a chaired professor at Columbia University (full time professors at Columbia have an average salary of $268,000). His mother is a world famous Indian filmmaker worth $22MM. Growing up, he went to an

Release Ghislaine Maxwell from prison. How can one be in prison for sex trafficking if there are no clients? How are there ‘hundreds of victims’ without a single predator facing prosecution? Grow some balls U.S. Department of Justice

‘If you could avoid opening bottles of champagne as the players are about to serve’ …. Nothing beats classy sloppy drunk.

I cannot think of a more qualified person to assume the soon-to-be vacant role of CEO at X than yours truly. On day one, I will hire one non-Indian non-engineer, thereby having at least one person available to deal with fuckups. And I will make spaces bigger and better. Thanks.

I’m glad Jasmine Crockett has finally splurged and got herself some of that good all-natural Indian hair.

Yo how you doin I’m from Jersey

Nothing beats Trader Joe’s on a Saturday. Ifkyk

less social media, more living in real life.

Our feckless leadership are regulating us to death while allowing the ‘American Dream’ to become a reality for everyone except Americans.

How I feel when I see screaming banshee WNBA players demanding to be paid what they’re worth (which is negative dollars) while the same players simultaneously beat the shit out of the one chick in the league that can sell a ticket.

At 45 years old, Venus Williams just won the opening set against Peyton Stearns, hitting 5 aces and 10 winners. For reference, Venus was fresh off her fourth grand slam win (and a gold medal) when her opponent was born. To those who bitched about her getting a wildcard: 🖕

Venus Williams after becoming the oldest WTA match winner since 2004: “I had to come back for the insurance, because they informed me this year that I’m on cobra. So it’s like, I got to get my benefits on” 😭😭😭😭

Roger Goodell has been the worst commissioner in NFL history and if this deal goes through, it will be awful for football fans. ESPN is a toxic shitlib cesspool. I do hope Scott Hanson gets to keep his job though.

Good Thursday Morning. Making my return to the tennis court today, hoping my bones don’t shatter.