last time i ate an edible i looked in my best friend’s eyes and said “if this doesn’t end in 3 hours we end it ourselves” and she just nodded. Later i was like do you remember agreeing to suicide and she was like oh yea

Lmao

lmaooooooo

Not seeing many “all you have to do is listen to the police and you’ll have nothing to worry about” tweets today.

Tiger seeing Scottie walk up to the range

Knocked Loose are so fucking good when you don't got a bitch in your ear saying Bryan’s screams sound like Mickey Mouse

Tiger Woods’ wife beat him up with a golf club on Thanksgiving after she went through his phone and found texts from a mistress while he was passed out from ambien and then he drove into a fire hydrant.

oh my god they killed him

any of my friends ignore my texts I’m loading up the meet the grahams beat

Frodo is so gay. Obsessed with jewelry and when, after spending all that time together on Mt Doom, Sam marries a woman instead of him, he leaves. But he doesn't just leave - he leaves in the gayest way possible: on a cruise with elves, Cate Blanchett and Ian McKellen.

every celebrity: it’s complicated, i know children are dying but— my career!

ethel cain: we should fucking kill this guy

In short our pal is doomed

SWEET CHIN MUSIC AND I WONT PASS THE AUX

i hope batman runs for 800 yards on the steelers and knocks their dirtball safety back into 2007 where their fans reside

Robin Williams no question. Felt like my childhood died.

Going for a run in your mid-thirties

I just saw a video of a Palestinian child with the entire top of their skull missing. Nothing in their skull. Just being held by another person. Just being held. I cannot comprehend what I’m seeing. Every day we see new nightmares. The Zionist entity cannot be allowed to exist.