Get the fuck up out my mentions confusin me with questions like.. Are you on right now? Are you single? I heard you follow back, is it true?

Don't call me when I specifically told you I'd call you back.

Relationships are like garage sales: At a distance it looks like it could be interesting...up close it's just a ton shit you don't need!

More weed, less problems.

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes

i can't fucking stand this. why do you do this to me if you love me

i could definitely kill myself right now

Can we stop pretending & tell each other how we really feel?

Boy: "Who hurt you again? I'd kill him." Girl: "Committing suicide is terrible."

Does anyone ever get that feeling in class when you just wanna scream out "NOBODY GIVES A FUCK"

I'M NOT AFRAID, TO TAKE A STAND" "Grandma please, sit back down on your wheel chair.

Twitter is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.

I can always make room in my stomach for the dessert no matter how full I am.

You can convince people to go anywhere with the promise of free food.

''If you're from Africa, why are you white?'' - #MeanGirls

Not actually speaking your mind because if you do, you'll be in deep trouble.

Simba was walking too slow, so I told him to Mufasa.

CURSING: Helps relieve pain by 50% percent.

My drug dealer cracks me up. 31,

I'm in my bed, you're in yours. One of us is OBVIOUSLY in the wrong place. 25,