It was one of the first times I ever scored a backstage pass. I wandered into Black Sabbath’s dressing room with my tape recorder and a copy of our local underground paper, the San Diego Door, and asked Ozzy Osbourne for this interview. 1/2

A childhood idol of mine. Thanks for the memories #HulkHogan

the holy trinity of scoreboard spellings

Western society is currently divided between people who know this is a man and are prepared to say so and those who know this is a man but lie out of obedience to an ideology. There is no third option. Literally nobody on earth thinks "Roxanne Tickle" is actually a woman.

🚨BREAKING🚨: Pedro Pascal to star in ET reboot

"There She Goes" 😂😂🩷 🎵🎶⬆️⬆️

Aleph Everywhere colonized by the French ended up being a sh**hole country because of how terribly they treated the locals.

who did this? 😭😭 HOWLING

Good morning, Twitter! In light of yesterday's news about Cesium-137 being found in Great Value Shrimp, I have questions about some of their other products.

me: what could i have done in my past to deserve this karma me during the mesozoic era:

If this gets 10k retweets, we’ll start giving away free guns.

Richard Hanania is out for a run at 4:15am. He turns the corner and a cop flags him down. “We’re looking for a child molester”. Hanania looks around nervously. He turns to the cop and nods out of breath. “Okay, I’ll do it”

And porn addiction. And also the addiction to being retarded.

"Lakers stadium"

kira 👾 Seems familiar

“This can’t be right. It’s still like that even when you control for income?”

Me: Are you pooping? My two year old in the corner: NO!

Oh yeah, that's the stuff...