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Do you remember when you joined X? I do! My dopamine pathways are demolished and a digital pseudo identity has untethered me from the physical realm! #MyXAnniversary

this really is the person i become the millisecond i have a rude interaction with a gay employee

having a week where i look 43 years old… will drinking 180 oz of water help me look 37

one of my aunts had a schizophrenic break in the 00s where she believed colin farrell was communicating via radio/tv telling her to divorce my uncle and ever since i have respected her for her taste

unforeseen and dangerous side effect of taking unprescribed adderall is listening to post-prism katy perry open.spotify.com/track/5ahNnBif…

please it’s a sunday

really sorry for sharing this but out of curiosity i bought a cheap metal ball weight on amazon thinking it would be an insubstantial little thing and instead i am currently in the process of signing contracts with carnival cruise for them to use it as a ship anchor

julia from RHOM is genuinely one of the strangest people on bravo not kooky eccentric rich woman strange but a deeply unsettling and scary person

it’s powerful when you meet someone who is doing the exact thing god wants them to do and that’s what i just encountered with a subway sandwich artist

you been chopping it up?

i will always believe that the gym is inherently douchey and it is an act of self preservation that i refuse to learn what push and pull days are or learn good form. my body has been the same for 2 years

with all the love in the world… based on the first 2 singles i’m going out on a limb and saying it is Not That

drawn to the vision of myself going for a run in a pair of heinous highlighter color hokas

hear me when i say god was in the factory... i just ate a whole pack of these in <24 hours

do you like heather dubrow

Based on my analysis of followers and recent engagements, here are 10 accounts likely visiting your profile frequently (estimated weekly visits): 1. locusts (372) 2. disembodied voices (231) 3. hat man (196) 4. those who wish me harm (147) 5. the guy who gave me syphilis (93)