Do a little digging on the health of the white collar job market before you wear a costume to the office today, k? Know who doesn’t wear a costume? People in India and AI deathbots.

goals

Bad day to be a flake of cocaine in Dallas.

“The Commodores rolled into Texas like it was the Gilded Age, and by the end of the first quarter they were back to the Gilded Cage, babe. Nothing says old money like new mistakes.”

“Vanderbilt’s offense stalling faster than the family’s fortune after the Lusitania, babe. Same energy, fewer lifeboats.”

Dennis: “Miami at SMU, babe - that’s not a football game, that’s a trust-fund cotillion with a sprinkle of cartel powder. You half expect the halftime show to be sponsored by Goldman Sachs and Narcos.” Al: second and six for the Hurricanes at the SMU 40

“That sound you hear ain’t just drums, fellas - it’s destiny tappin’ out a Texas beat inside your chest. Feel it. Follow it. Let el corazon lead you to los end zones, and write your name in the dirt where legends live.”

Hillsong Brian Kelly

Loins low

Jimmy G Immediately added to the lexicon.

Florida Man

Imagine being Canadian.

It’s ok, Toronto fans. I’m sure the Leafs will hoist the Cup within the next few decades.

Colorado Rockies 2026 World Series Champions

The dealer:

Legitimately concerned about Romo’s brain.

Wishing all the young kings a prosperous start to Vest Season.

smh white people and dogs completely out of control

A lifetime of service and stock tips that commenced at the end of the civil war.

Go to hell, OpenAI