Level up: locked eyeballs with the cutie at the coffee shop while simultaneously tripping over a laptop cord. #MissedConnection

IG/twitter friends, I do a thing! Get at me for all of your button… instagram.com/p/v_jcqAyaKE/

Someone #cropdusting me in #HalfPriceBooks. Quit stealing my thunder.

I could really go hard on a bottle of that Aardvark right now, Portland. Ya heard?! #haardvark #HotSauce #salsa

I get real down on myself lately whenever #PoopEmoji isn't in my recently used. 💩

Welp birthday day is now officially over. Time to go back to #sponuting on the internet. No brother, really, can you spare a donut?

One of these days I'm gonna get organizized.

walking along when a life-size Hot Wheels car full of jocks pulls up and asks me where the #DeadKennedys concert was. So I threw the rock.

Spoiler alert: bullet belt headdress. #MadMax #Crustlording #Inepsy #Framtid

Spoiler alert: George Clinton dirt bike gang. #MadMax

I need to invent #VeganDonut subscriptions. So I can subscribe. Twice.🍩🍩

RIPped my Lee jeans :'( #ThanxObama

Today's espresso brewed with the tears of bigot conservatives and stoked over the flames of one burning pastor and several confederate flags

#legit just saw an old man cutting his lawn with SCISSORS!! #SCISSORS!!! ✂✂✂🆒

#shoutout to #DollarTree samosas: MVP #vegan snack award! #ColumbusVegan #VeganPunx

#FirstDayofCamp y'all

Air B n' Free #FirstDayOfCamp #LastDayOfCamp #LATFO #OogleMaps #Arcata madriverunion.com/cabin-discover…

What's a spydercoknives warranty look like? #EDC

Let's kill those other horrible memes out there. Feel free to share.… instagram.com/p/8rDcc8SaPJ1V…

@destinysmestiny #EveryNüMale