I didn't know Ted Cruz was 73. #TedCruzisaFARTBONGER

From what I know of the Blade movies, if a pregnant woman gets bit by a rabid dog that baby will be immune to rabies and have all the super powers of rabies.

Whoever is driving OJs hearse has the opportunity to do the funniest thing

Looks like Iran and Isreal are binging Fallout faster than everyone #iran #isreal #FalloutSeries #fallout #TedCruzisaFARTBONGER

1 week…. Season 3 4/20/24 BluntsUponATime.com

"JUST ANNOUNCED" #TedCruzisaFARTBONGER

The mechanic exorcist: I need an old Prius and a young Prius

Did covid invent this?

My uber smells either like a sweat sock hot pocket (that's a sweat sock flavored hot pocket) or a hot pocket sweat sock (that's a sweat sock decorated like a hot pocket)

Less than 24 hours!!! Season 3 Debut Announcement!! youtu.be/C8jDIVvmcvU?si… via YouTube

I've seen this documentary. The birds don't get laid at the end of it

I'm telling my kids this is Kristi Noem #KristiNoem #KristiNoemIsAMonster

“Why aren’t people having kids anymore?”

This trial has been so unfair to President Trump. This whole time he was trying to prove his innocence, there was another team of lawyers trying to prove he was guilty. I thought this was America.

Weird celebrating the #4thofJuly right after we become a #monarchy

Yeah, but who is the hawk tua girl voting for?

A good guy with a gun could've stopped that

The crazy thing about Weekend at Bernie's 2 is they got the same dead guy from the first one. I'm surprised he wasn't busy.

So I sent a bunch of doodles, squiggles, and plus signs to the San Francisco Chronicle, and said “You’s guys figure it out!” - RFK Jr

A Flintstones remake with Seth Rogen as Fred and one of the jokes is "I'm STONED"