Nothing more suburban dystopia than my mother texting me to fill up my gas tank cause the war in the Middle East is gonna drive up gas prices

Baby's first #maleselfiefriday

I am very convinced of my homosexuality until my girl friends offer to cook me dinner

Podcast consultation this morning

They liked my pitch so I'm going in next week to record the pilot

My ex's birthday is Juneteenth which ought to have been an omen. You can't be born like that white baby

In 28 Years Later the only real homage to the first film is a fixation on showing man butt and dong at any and every convenience. A great movie

The title of this album is prescient in that it anticipates what you'll say to yourself four or five tracks in open.spotify.com/album/6bpglEwF…

Babe don't worry that's just my platonic gay friend who I would marry if he asked and also we did hookup back in the day but we're chill now

Hey is it cool if I come to your parents' beach house get drunk chase crabs and eat all your groceries

Neon Genesis Evangelion rewatch begins TONIGHT

I want to like Cameron Winter/Geese but I can't get past his billygoat vocals. Every word sung through the oral position of BLEEEH

What did I learn from a month-long twitter break? Well it's that I will consume slop wherever it is accessible. I'm a glutton for a good scroll. but at least on here I am both slop consumer and producer so it's time to come on home

Sad to share that, in my posting interregnum, I ended things with Peebu the Judge guy. He was a good one. We just had some fundamental differences as a couple, such as conflicting beliefs about whether or not Mississippi was north of Virginia

I will not be using instagram maps if you need me I'll be smoking cigs on my grandmothers porch swing