Sometimes we make bets on how much we can get Melvin to do for extra credit. One time Mr. Meaner had him re-shingle his entire roof and remove a hornet's nest from his attic

A reminder of our policy on individuality and self-expression: Don't!

i dont get paid enough to deal with this

Would the students who did this please report to Principal Krupp's office? We just wanna talk

There is an outbreak of LICE at school. All parents please check your children's hair for lice. Also, would Jessica Gordon's parents please come and pick her up? She's been screaming and crying inconsolably over this news for the past 2 hours and I'm getting a headache

If you're struggling in class we can assign you a peer tutor but so far the only student who's put thier name down to be a tutor is Melvin Sneedly and honestly I think I'd rather flunk

We'd like to wish a very happy birthday to our principal Mr. Benjamin Krupp! 3x winner of the International Worst Principal award! We really wouldn't be the school we are today without him 🤗

We'd like to introduce everyone to our newest members of faculty: Zorxette, Klaxette and Jenniferette, our new lunch ladies! When asked why they were green they said "haha don't worry about it"

I can hear Mr. Krupp quietly repeating "tra-la-la" to himself over and over from his office. what.

The sign tells insidious lies. Do not trust it.

Our English teacher Ms. Ribble would like everyone to know that she has finally snapped

Our P.E teacher Mr. Meaner is excited to announce his new invention: Rid-O-Kid 2000! Is your kid too annoying? Don't worry, now you can lobotomize then with a simple spray can!

Jessica Gordon just got detention for trying to pierce Other Sophie's ears with a safety pin in the girl's bathroom

Whoever keeps putting these plushies of a naked superhero in Mr. Krupp's office, please stop immediately.

We are currently looking to hire a new school superintendent as our previous one has demoted himself to principal as part of an evil plan or something, i dont know i wasnt really paying attention at the staff meeting

George Beard and Harold Hutchins to report to Principal Krupp's office IMMEDIATELY. We thought you were finally done with these ridiculous comic books. Also, Mr. Krupp would like to know what a "manga" is. #captainunderpants