Sci-Fi Author: In my book I invented the Torment Nexus as a cautionary tale Tech Company: At long last, we have created the Torment Nexus from classic sci-fi novel Don't Create The Torment Nexus

National tour August + 50 First Jokes Melbourne next week - mailchi.mp/ba7935cc1f68/j…

5kgs down. My goal weight is to have Face ID stop working.

Took a de-worming tablet “just in case” in case you were wondering how it’s going

Broad Abroad: The Wad Versus The World

Spending $800 to get diagnosed autistic so I can shove it in the face of people I refuse to look in the eye

Banks giving 30 year loans like the apocalypse isn’t coming in 15 are adorkable

🚨NEW LINEUP ALERT🚨 This Tuesday night we've got some of the best local, interstate AND special secret international guest acts! You're going to want to lock in a spot soon, tickets are already selling fast!! Tickets here: trybooking.com/CJWNF 🎟️

Chewy is my Sydney friend. Thursday at @goodchatcomedy you can be my Brisbane friend. Tix at jezwatts.com

Got the comedy/tragedy masks tattooed on my balls (sometimes they both frown)

I'm assuming the only people left on this platform are absolute Muskrats?? Tix for this at jezwatts.com if you've just stayed here out of inertia and aren't white supremacist fuckheads.

If you're still on this disaster platform and in Melbourne I would love to see you tonight or tomorrow

Shows on sale in Geelong (tonight) Frankston (Saturday) Auckland (Aug 31) Newcastle (Sept 6) and Sydney (Special taping Sept 7)

Fiancee just left to test a speargun in our apartment building's shared pool so HMU if you know of any available (a) apartments (b) lawyers (c) fiancees

Geelong this week Perth next month! - mailchi.mp/27541318ac4c/j…

Perth this week + Fringe + Special Taping March - mailchi.mp/52aec006fea7/j…

Perth flash sale + Melbourne taping tix available - mailchi.mp/9e0548c2ebee/j…

Melbourne special taping this Saturday - mailchi.mp/6b4d502e0a60/j…

Melbourne special taping in 2 days!

Brisbane Sydney & Perth (+ podcast & special updates) - mailchi.mp/07c719598544/j…