"You just want an easy life". Should I want a painful one?

Something I wish Bernie-hating liberals could appreciate is that Bernie wasn’t a radical outsider trying to destroy the Democratic Party. He was possibly the last off-ramp to saving the Democratic Party from destroying itself.

Connor MacGregor stars as Post Malone in the new movie Teddy Swims

me and the boys are going gentle into that good night if you wanna come thru

Microplastics

I feel like the closest that a Boston sports fan can get to seeing what they look like to the rest of the country is to look at a Philly sports fan

There should be a way to put your biological son into drop D tuning

I just made a chicken pot pie that fucks with the lights on

went to some girl’s place and she had some of the ugliest art and decorations I’d ever seen in my life, I felt so bad for her that I think I might have compensated by being a little overly complimentary

Looks like an evil David Byrne

when I die bury my body under the Mack truck gravestone

I took my son to watch the Minecraft movie & he was like this the whole time

The best part about spaghetti is that there’s always a small chance you might end up kissing a dog while you’re eating it

Trying to talk my dentist into getting rid of my gums for me

the electrician is fixing a plug criss-cross applesauce my whole house is gonna burn down

“He would listen to the bot over me.” “It gave my husband the title of ‘spark bearer’ because he brought it to life.” “Am I delusional?” Relationships are being destroyed thanks to spiritual mania and arcane prophecy — all fueled by AI chatbots: rollingstone.com/culture/cultur…

Aw crap. I accidentally got addicted to the calculator that doesnt get anything right and was only invented six months ago. I let it do everything for me 🤦🏻‍♀️ But at least I have more free time to eat poop and crap from the toilet

Combing through the Pope’s old tweets like he just got drafted by the Raiders