John Mulaney getting on stage and mercilessly mocking everyone at Salesforce’s Dreamforce conference is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read

Elon Musk You are impossibly stupid

Small brain: putting trash in trash cans will reduce the rat population. Big brain: rats get free contraception

Billy Joel .Billy Joel !!! pls play I Go To Extremes live at LA’s Intuit Dome on Oct 12!! my sweet friend Lauren will be there & it’s on her life’s bucket list to see you play it live !! She’s seen u many times, but never that song ! Why do we go to extremes, Billy Joel ?? FOR LOVE !!! ❤️❤️

Can we get 500 retweets on this video of Kamala Harris humiliating Donald Trump on Call Her Daddy

You can recognize that European Jews have been persecuted for centuries, while also recognizing that this does not give them a license to colonize, steal land, and kill Arabs who have literally nothing to do with aforementioned persecution. Really not that complicated.

Polls over the rest of the campaign will probably be statistically indistinguishable from a random number generator that picks numbers between +4 and -4 in the 7 key swing states.

Here's a pic of a donor to Kamala's Senate campaign with Epstein. Explain that, Dave!

Some of us have been calling on her to break with Biden on Gaza for a while - but to no avail. If she loses Michigan and then the election, she’ll have no one to blame but herself (and her consultants!)

Don't miss this new Bloomberg poll on the economy "On every economic issue surveyed, Harris has closed the trust gap or even surpassed Trump as the candidate that swing-state voters trust more" 👀👀👀 bloomberg.com/news/features/…

Trump has hacked the media by lying so relentlessly and egregiously that whoppers that could be career-ending for other politicians don’t even rouse our fact-checkers. He claims American towns are occupied by migrants in every one of his speeches and it elicits yawns. We need to

"I F---ed it up. I F---ed it up. Can I go back. Can go back, please." "You can't. We're live" -- National Anthem

This cynical report—which Elon Musk used to call for Lina Khan's firing today—is part of a campaign to remove an effective and popular public servant for actually serving the public, rather than billionaires. Let's take a spin through its "findings."👇🧵

BOMBSHELL: Jeffrey Epstein said "I was Donald's closest friend for 10 years". He also explained Trump would fuck his friend's wives and the first time he slept with Melania it was on the Lolita Express. HOLY SHIT thedailybeast.com/listen-to-the-…

Election Touchscreen Map Takes Deeper Look Inside Key Swing Voter | Onion News Network ONN political analyst Jason Copeland breaks down the latest presidential polling trends going on inside Pennsylvania resident Nick Camden.

A striking moment of self-awareness from David Brooks

Betty Boop's plan for dealing with the crime problem. From BETTY BOOP FOR PRESIDENT (1933).

I'm gonna wake up and keep trying to do good and so are you and nobody gets to vote on that.