Someone gotta shoot TJ McConnell I’m not doin this shit again

Got some women’s lacrosse on the tele rn. Not sure if I’m speakin for the masses here but this sport would be exponentially more entertaining if they played topless #JustMyThoughtsComingFromASportsJunkieRegardlessOfMyOwnSportIPlay

En route to Arno’s on 38th to meet Pepper Sr for dinner. Last two Knicks games we went to, we ate like kings at Arno’s and proceeded to witness a Knicks W inside the worlds greatest arena (one of these was against the pacers). We’re no heroes. Just tryna do our part. #KNICKSTAPE

Thank you Arno’s!! Thank you New York Knicks!!!! Thank you Ariel Hukporti!!!!

Heard through the grapevine that a certain someone had some choice words about me recently. Putin, if you’re reading this, just want you to know that I don’t care you told everyone I don’t have stinky farts. It’s not true and we both know better than this.

Thinkin bout quitting my job so I can put more time into fine tuning my jumper

I love listening to Amy Winehouse almost as much as Amy Winehouse loved doin heroin. Girl had some pipes!

Wore some light khakis to the office today. Took about 6-8 pee breaks. Confirming that I got zero pee stains on the khakis all day. ZERO. Not everyone cut out for this level of precision. Good thing I’m not everyone. #SomeThings

To the guy tht loudly farted in the elevator on the way out of the office today and put his head down in shame, keep your chin up king. That shit was potent, very powerful. Never do it near me or the office huzz again but don’t let a nuclear fart ruin your day #MenSupportingMen

Riveting day for Pepper. My Andor poster arrived and is officially up on my TV wall. I love this shit man fr. In other news in my life, I’m somehow still single and continue to question why girls aren’t fighting one another over the birthing rights to my firstborn #WhoOvulating

My names rod, and I like to party

Brutal day in the office. Never ending pile of shit being directed straight to my inbox. Saw a massive set of jugs on my walk to the subway. Can firmly say the day has been REDEEMED. #Milk #ItsAboutTheLittleThings #Jk #ItsAboutTheBigThings #Boobs

For all those asking, confirming that I’ve boarded my flight and I don’t have a fatass or a crying child sitting next to me. Next stop Croatia. Onward!! ✌🏻✌🏻

*takes sip of water from hydroflask Ohhh. Oh yeah. That’s the stuff

Need some movie recs. Someone give me something that blew their mind

My mom this weekend (first time home in months and I received ZERO (0) home-cooked meals)

Still trapped in office. Boss man unfortunately here. To kill time I’ve: - spent 30 minutes in Chik eating breakfast - 2 FF mock drafts - 8 trips to the bathroom - called my grandma - done about 10 minutes of work Running out of options here. Please send help!! #FreePepper

Girl quit lookin at me like that #BrandNewBrita #DieForMyBrita #HydrationCity #PopulationPepper