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Showing up late to the gay guy pregame because the lamps I ordered arrived

Your flesh will embarrass you

Beside myself trying to make “because I’m too bouba, then I’m too fucking kiki” work but it simply can’t

The idea of having a boyfriend who goes to jail

Translated it

Why are you mad at me if I have an outstanding balance? Seems like you should be celebrating me if it’s that good

— Jenny Holzer

They’re rolling for initiative

It never occurred to me that Kim Petras was hitting a bong at the beginning of hillside boys, I thought she was using a straw to blow bubbles into a glass of cola. That’s the kind of thought process you have when you are anointed

jesus at the last supper knowing judas is about to betray him

This is probably what it felt like when Jesus got out of that cave

Everyone’s got a little camera now and they’re taking little photos on it and such

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin telling the nurses what name to put on their daughter’s birth certificate

eve wondering what to have for lunch the snake:

Hi everyone, this song is called cousins

And I’ve just landed in London to congratulate her personally

visiting st louis w my friend who grew up here and she keeps pointing to shit like a wendy’s and going “that was a big deal to me”