My latest art, “Heath Ledger vs Shergar” I’ve studied Dali’s horses legs for too long.

FIND out if the people camping next to you are listening to you have sex by simply seeing if they pause Netflix when you say “up the pumper?”

Weird how things that I turn off sound like @elbow songs.

Me: Hello is that the Samaritans? Samaritans: Yes. Me: I’ve just made small talk in the supermarket. Samaritans: Sorry we don’t…….. Me: They had a big wart on their eyelid and were wearing comfortable shoes. Samaritans: I’ll put you through.

Old people using Apple Pay.

Single of the week.

Newcastle United, emptying stadiums since April ‘23. #nufc

Once again, these so called boffins are telling us that red wine is good for your “gut health” What a load of codswallop, I drank two and a half bottles of the stuff the other night and promptly shat myself. I will be sticking to white wine in the future. Viz Comic

For a lady of a certain age.

Bloody lovely this! northstatebeer.com

Artwork of Neil Hannon of the The Divine Comedy completed today by my good friend and amazing artist Baby Jesus which he has generously gifted to my wife and me as we and he are big fans of his genius music and songwriting. #Divalady #NorthEastEngland #artwork #NationalExpress

Finished. Portrait of Neil Hannon.

#YouAreAwful Netflix UK & Ireland

New single!! Usb stick.

Probably the best band in the world right now. New single. Think they’ve already won. open.spotify.com/album/4gdlAYu8…

Morrisons Ultimate Breakfast review accompanied by a sad piccolo flute.

youtu.be/MXWl1Y4brx0?si… A long lost friend’s son. This is unreal!!!!

Just made myself a “Southgate” for supper.