Bramley bitter

Been constantly pissed for 3 days

Laughing my bollocks off that my dad was let down by 1 horse for £15,000 yesterday, now he knows how I feel

Only been gone a day and I want to see her

Who does 1975 lead singer think he is? Prince? Good job they've got choir in background 😂

When you fill out a form and its like "gay, lesbian, transgender.... Other?" What the fuck is other???????

⚽️ It's pretty clear that #bluebirds boss Neil Warnock was fed up of waiting for #HTAFC's David Wagner to finish his press conference... 😂

@levelslamb Better than you joe hamer

Thought I heard a loud bang

My mums just told me where all her money is if her plane crashes Thrusday? Anyone want to help me make a bomb 😂

Gotta have Sam back in villa

Mike mugged off again 😂

My New Year's Kiss is going to be: Joey🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Find yours at tinyurl.com/newyearskiss .

Joey🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Not getting owt better at moment

Always remember being on rebound in Masons proper blindo and my mate said I darent chat these 2 birds up thing is I didn't know what he knew. Lesbian couple

Be a pain in arse not being able to reach things or get on rola coasters but how good would life be as a dwarf! Buy designer kids clothes at cheaper prices! Work on celeb juice, do stag do's, dwarf porn, not worry about being fat cos your short and can't avoid it

Don't know if it's possible but I think if it all goes to plan Man Utd squad will be too strong next next season

My mum is clinically insane! Mouthing off at my half cooked dad for eating some crisps she's bought for Christmas. Baring mind she's bought about £400 of nibbles for one day when there going out for dinner, no ones coming round and I can't eat solid foods yet!

Go on Semi! We only need 10 men

If Ginger Craig can pull Bethany there's hope for me