Made something new.

Is Mac Miller short for Macklemore Miller

Ponies get zoomies too

Most kids are just dren. I only hang with chill dren.

It’s not the heat it’s the humanity

I don’t care what era Forrest Gump grew up, he’ll always be Gen A

It’s 5’o’clock everywhere

Can we all agree that masturbating is offensive and maybe start primarybating

My fiercest tweets are proudly brought to you by ChatLGBTQ

Does my dog like when I wag her tail for her? Guess I’ll never know.

In: devil, details Out: baby, bathwater

Are dyslexic people triggered by November 9th?

Who called it Cialis and not Reserrection

Is Eloise just an electronic Louise?

I’m ready for a pandemic called knucklevirus that’s only transmitted by fist bumps. That shit needs to stop.

Trying to learn Spanish. How do you say the weather took my dog?

Can’t spell flamingo without flaming am I right

The gr8est. Washington Capitals Alex Ovechkin

How the heck is a group of possums not called a posse

doc said my liver is failing but i think it's just not applying itself