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Her: im coming over, you better not be a member of the dominican national guard with down’s syndrome when i get there Me:

Daily affirmation: my expensive car is a reflection of my soul and proof that i am worth more than other people in God’s eyes

Just saw a labubu irl for the first time so now i have to go to church

Comparing owl pics w the homies

I feel like the limes they put in your drinks at shitty bars are more hazardous to your health than any bag of unidentified drugs that you may find on the bathroom floor

You can’t drive a car drunk, you can’t drive a boat drunk… what will they say next? You can’t fly an airplane drunk??

Thanks For The Tips On Making Crack Hunter Biden But I Already Learned How To Cook Crack From Juelz Santana DIP SET DIP SET DIP SET

George Hamilton Maxxing

Can someone let me use their tea account to trash my friends? I tried to sign up but they don’t believe that i’m a woman

I almost went pro but i didnt want to be famous and get hounded by the media constantly

If you’re having trouble falling asleep just hit yourself in the head w a frying pan

Her: I’m coming over, you better not be muammar gaddafi with unlimited drip when I get there Me:

Hard drug friYAY🫶🏻

Has anybody seen my mom’s high school tennis racket i cant find it

My perfect beautiful german sports sedan smells like a gym bag due to my elite athletic lifestyle and limited towel ownership :( time to buy the $300 ostrich leather acqua di parma car fragrance diffuser i guess

Start collecting high end watches

Queering and decolonizing the white space that is the neighborhood i live in

Shabbat shalom sluts