I’m working late
‘Cause I’m a singer

when the waiter asks me how the food is

“he would be willing to build migrant detention camps …. He would let red states monitor women’s pregnancies and prosecute those who violate abortion bans. He would, at his personal discretion, withhold funds appropriated by Congress”

time.com/6972021/donald…

drivers in the northeast: we’re crazy ahaa

drivers in a mid-sized midwest city with a tunnel called the Can Opener and drivers who crash into buildings so often we actually have a new verb for it:

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

Kamala Harris stuns in new photo

joe biden reacts to Challengers (2024) dir. luca guadagnino

Yo Biden pulled, as they call it on #JerseyShore , a robbery from a dude with a yacht. Bro's girl left with Biden instead LMAO

James Line eyewitness account: 

joe biden (chad): hey gorgeous, name's joe. you come here often?

poor sap (sweating profusely): so uh about our plans tonight...

girl: they’re canceled.

He’s him

Joe Biden just did an interview where he talked about going on spring break in the Bahamas in college and stealing another guy’s girl at the beach lol

OMG leave me alone

biden has that fuck you money omg

??