And this exactly WHY I don’t like helping people because wym they want seafood ???

nah fr, Twitter is actually the land of perfect human beings 😭 someone said she goes on solo dates to restaurants and still hasn’t found love, and people are now doing “me I’d rather stay at home and order food” okay… and? she went out to find a man. so what now? I’m not

Ungrateful people irritate me to my bones. You’ll never hear from me again. I’m not God or Jesus. You better thank me

I went on a date last week and it went extremely well. She's attractive, smart, and exactly my type. Naturally, I looked her up after and I stumbled upon her LinkedIn and found something quite awful... she posts *every* single day. She says things like "top three things I

The older I get, the more certain I am that we knew exactly who we were when we were little, and then adults talked us out of it

oh you can see nigeria tweets on your TL now.

he really just wanted to eat😂❤️

Before marriage: “I love you” After marriage: “You rest, i’ll take care of the laundry.” / “I’ll cook.” After having children: “Shhh, dont disturb Mummy. Mummy is sleeping.” Different sentences, same meaning.

I actually might Kill a goat and host a house party when we win the Premiership. #Arsenal

Personally stopped gifting anybody abeg. All of us don get sense.

Someone went to a hotel and washed her panties in a coffee maker, and posted it as “a hack” Now she’s getting sued for 1 billion as the hotel had to make payouts, refunds and replace all coffee machines.

I remember being in 3rd grade & this white boy wrote Niger on my desk, I was the only Black child in my class, my teacher said he was talking about the country, she even pulled out the globe. 8 year-old me didn't even realize I was being gaslit.

My friend got a job offer in the United States It would be a 5% pay increase "Will you take it?" I asked Nope! He explained how he'd actually be losing money by moving to the US: - $2k to lease a car (required in the US) - $1,500 a year tipping waiters - $37k extra for

A top recruit from London negotiated a massive relocation package. He wanted a shipping container for his furniture, first-class flights for his family, and temporary housing. I approved it all without blinking. He arrived yesterday, beaming. He told me, 'I've never felt so

I think my wife’s happiness is directly correlated to our house looking like no one lives in it.

Ok, that’s enough X for me today😂

It’s really that simple

I saw a guy in dirty clothes drinking sachet alcohol and dancing on top of a moving truck. I scornfully shook my head. Then I paused, and wondered who stole my own joy.

Coping mechanism

I went to a restaurant to eat. After I finished my meal, my bill came up to ₦18,200. I made the first payment, but before the transaction could conclude, their POS machine suddenly went off. They quickly brought another POS, and that one went through successfully. Or so I