No jokes: I have gained so much weight this holiday that my phone straight-up won’t unlock anymore when it sees me. . . . . #FirstWorldProblems #iPhone #facerecognition #wakeupcall #diet #christmas #pudding #bread #wine #beer

Vicks is just spicy Vaseline.

The great thing about the lockdown is that everyone is making online content. I’m not sarcastic you’re sarcastic. #SAlockdown

@SAFTAS1 YouTube Does this mean I won?

“Please switch your phone to silent” Me, a grown-up who has not had his phone on loud since the early 2000’s *checks phone to be sure*

They should have asked me!

Bon Jovi has to be AT LEAST 3/4 of the way there by now.

Find someone that looks at you the way I look at Mayonnaise.

Pets are the new kids Plants are the new pets Rocks are the new plants. I dont’t make the rules.

Has anyone tried switching 2020 off and back on again?

Preach.

💔

[BREAKING NEWS] Desmond Tutu passes away. More details on #DStv403 and at eNCA.com. #eNCA

Dit is uiteindelik hier! 🤗 3 splinternuwe enkelsnitte, 3 vars musiekvideo's. Dis nou jou beurt, kyker, om te besluit wie het #WatDitVat? Luister hier na die drie deelnemers se Afrikaanse treffers 🙌

I am so single, someone asked me who I am with and I said FNB South Africa

I mean SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY

When I die and you all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions of very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly. #afrikaans #uct

Being in a relationship is all about solving problems together. Problems that don’t exist when you are single.

I don’t like conflict, unless you guys like it then I love it

I am simultaneously self-improving and being self destructive it’s called balance Linda look it up