Everything is better with Wipe Me Down.

So what do kids call smear the queer these days...

Bein in the the dog house/on punishment with my lady is no bueno. Most girls give the silent treatment for a couple hours. Mine becomes a professional roaster for a couple days. I’ll be wanting to laugh at how bad she gets me, but she keeps a straight face the whole time.😂🤔

So is shooting a basketball backwards like the new universal cops new way of saying they’re not shitty at their job or something... cause I personally don’t give two shits about how often they practice throwing a ball over their head.

Everyone’s alone, as every person’s got secrets. It’s a difficult set up to stay out of the system, while keeping your sanity in some worlds.

Lord, help me.

Crazy I get sad when I have to clock out of work. I’d work 12 hours if they’d let me. Lol

🤦🏾‍♂️😒 da shit i go thru !!! ANYBODY WANT KIDS ? 🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️

Tate..

He wasn't backing down for anyone 😤 (via scottyhughes_26, chuckyj65/Instagram)

After 1 day working at a plant, I realized people will stare everywhere I go after, as I smell like Mary Jane. By the end of the week, I learned there’s no showering it off. Now every time I work out, my sweat smells like 50 pounds of granddaddy purp. Got my card for a cop tho.🤷‍♂️

I’m much more scared of humanity than I am this new thing for social media to talk about for a month or two.

One of my cats hits her head so hard on things so often and just keeps going on with her day as if it didn’t happen, every time. Literally everything possible to sprint into head first.

Quarantine and Chill ? 😂

I’ll never not make “each other” into one word. It should have always been that way in the first place. 🐸☕️

A week or so in the crib really don’t sound too bad fr

This is all the greatest vacation ever to a rich person. Even though they won’t really stop working, they’re gonna excuse themselves a little and be able to. I need that.

Almost ran over a yorky today. Missed him by a literally a foot. If I had hit him, with the month it’s been, I would have just curled into a ball right then and there and untucked if I were still alive by 2021.

People just keep being distracted and maniplulated by the news of more celebrities getting the yearly virus we’re supposed to panic about, while every single 1 of them is gonna live & everybody’s still gonna say “u remember the corona virus?!” Even though no celebs will die. 🤦‍♂️💆‍♂️

Never trusted marriage, but I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna marry this girl.