what if all we needed was another chance

bats are just halloween butterflies 🦇

If you lose followers you're doing it right.

The former English major in me wants to correct ALL your DMs and send them back with a grade

I’m a photographer first and a human being second.

Interview with an umpire.

See you losers tomorrow. I got sleep to do.

The internet was supposed to change mankind instead what we got is 40 year olds arguing with a bunch of high school sophomores over the length of their socks

Just once I’d like to wake up less tired than when I went to bed.

Them: what are your hobbies? Me: sleeping

I don’t think I’m being taken very seriously as an actor.

No matter what’s going on in your life there is a form of potato that will make it better

Me at a rave: Where the fuck are the chairs

54 doesn’t feel much different than 53.

Say what you want but she’ll always be Farrah Fawcett Majors to me. If you don’t include the Majors then I’m afraid we just can’t be friends. I take this pretty seriously.

Dirty deeds done at a reasonable price. Act now and get a second dirty deed done for half the cost. (Equal or lesser value of coarse..) C’mon now! I can’t just can’t be handing out dirty deeds here.

I sometimes eat small rocks to help digest food

I ran errands AND did laundry before 9am… Invasion of the Body Snatchers happened last night.

Gonna start calling dumb people “Book stupid”

Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours?? Yea. I’ve heard a few things about it.