Re-wrote this poem so it made sense for performers. Don’t give up.

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insta saw it first

When I say I am on edge watching Dahmer. I mean ON EDGE. I’m home alone and regretting this decision completely.

Right, who do I need to flirt with to get on a Virgin Voyages cruise? Every man and his dog has been on this boat except me.

Max 🙏🏼✨

insta stories saw it first

HEARTBREAK HIGH That is all.

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I guess performing at the Coliseum in a production of Hairspray isn’t an “acting job” then? 🤔 Theatre once again getting pushed to the sidelines. It’s giving “what will I have seen you in”

Susan Boyle came in and had our 3 courses for £12.99 deal. But left with a bill of £72.99 after buying a random table a bottle of MOËT. What a wee kind soul. Never left a tip though 😂

CASTING ANNOUNCEMENT: THE CROWN are looking for a female identifying actor to play the role of: Liz Truss 1 Day Shooting/Quick turnaround. Minor role. Equity minimum.

I shook Matt Willis’ hand yesterday just sayin

Tesco, what happened to “every little helps” 🥺 That 40p during a cost of living crisis could really get me the caramel in my daily autumnal oat latte.

Michael Bublé and Mariah Carey are defrosting as we speak.

I was at the school crossing when I saw the new girl from South Africa getting screamed at by the popular girl of the school. All of a sudden a yellow school bus knocked her down flat. Some girls say they saw her head go all the way around. But that's just a rumor.

Me eating dinner:

This is so sad. Nobody should feel forced to come out. Everyone has their own journey and people need to respect that no matter how much of a following they have.

“jacks sexuality” first discovered 21 years ago today

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