Me: Hey, come on in! Make yourselves at home! Can I get you guys anything? My friends:

[walking into a coffee shop with a phone that looks homemade]: Hey sorry do you have a Samuels Incredible Phone charger?

How can one nation have so many different names for paedophile

KILLER MEG (Interdimensional entity..)

(scheming vizier as he's dragged out by guards) The men's shed will be hearing about this!

Insulting to attend the Met Gala without a mechanical wonder from the workshops of your home city.

(watching my cousin the dauphin play with the mechanical wonder brought by the Greek emissary) You know that bird only moves because there's a demon in it right?

C'mon

It would be disappointing if Tom Cruise survived all those stunts only to die getting sucked up into bathroom hand dryer

yeah thanks for the rec, I'll definitely watch something called "The Terror". Hey quick question, is that the name of one of the good emotions?

Ignoring their deranged posting for a moment, "CheesedOffBrit" must be an insanely good get for a British person. Must have felt like winning the lottery.

If Villeneuve were serious about making a bold new Bond he would cast me and my beautiful girlfriend as the leads and he would base the plot around the wonderful tale of our real life love

She's got the mushroom guilties (murmuring of gathered crowd intensifies) She's got the mushroom guilties!

ChatGPT show me internet content for today. ChatGPT: Categories: Amazing, Interesting, Mildly Interesting, Great, Meme, Meme ChatGPT: Has Pet Rock. It Runs Away. Love, Bad Luck Brian Hahaha. Thank you I love you. I needed that pick me up. I love you. ChatGPT: I love you.

(trying to connect with my friend's sober new boyfriend by texting him a picture of a beer) If youre ever interested in checking one of these out hit me up dude, I know what kind of stores you get them from. Id say the taste is interesting but not good.

Kicked out of the sherpa fantasy league chat for pointing out the insane levels of Tenzing Norgay glazing

pleased to learn about the NZ government's Fog Cannon Subsidy Scheme