Happy New Year from me and my weird uncle @WobberdODowiddy

Upon my wake up in 2020, I plan to give up fags and bad food. I plan to eat less meat and get more invested ln the things I believe in. I plan to spend my time doing things I am interested in which make me happy and I plan on being better than the person I currently am x

Hi, I am experiencing acid reflux, thank you

The last whiff of a firework outside the curragower

Skrillinth.

I’ve had a chicken in the slow cooker since 2 and I’m so excited to wait another 2 hours. Not drinking makes me a BIG loser

When you run out of things so you wear regular briefs backwards, preserve the arse x

LADS there’s a kid here in the street talking to his friends. He is alone talking to empty space. “Come on guys I don’t wanna be late” Hello, Please stop scaring me little boy

I love how welcome my mom makes me feel to stay in her house x

I have purchased mom jeans

I am a potbelly pig in my mom jeans x

Last night, for the first time since watching #TheHauntingOfHillHouse , I didn’t have a nightmare and wake myself up screaming :) I would recommend

U N P L E S A N T

Why can’t I, just one time, wake up as Dua Lipa?

Good morning, here’s a cheque I wrote today, Happy New Year x

My mother just called my WORK phone and asked “Do you know Rob O’Doherty” with the whole of CBS cackling in the background, I’m deleting Facebook

Hey guys, i’m single now, DM me x

A L L E R G I C

Happy birthday to my mother who is not on twitter but would absolutely hate it if I were to upload a video of her or tell anyone it was her birthday x

Will someone come playing with me? I have the car and I’m hyped up on decaf coffee