The level that people go through to be as disrespectful and obnoxious is fucking amazing.

Over what? x.com/thehill/status…

Don't get a fucking cat if you don't want the responsibility.

Maybe next time try keeping the damn noise down so people can sleep

Like a vagina wrapped in bacon this smells like victory.

Still not sure about the hacking. Not taking any chances. Keep your eye out.

This burger is so greasy its like they wiped it on a teenager's forehead.

I'm starting over.

I'm out.

You are a walking vagina... x.com/brianstelter/s…

I was strangely attracted to him when he said he'd spend his last 1% of his battery liking my Facebook status

Is there a manual for giving a fuck again? I might need to read it.

This should be good.

No x.com/bankofamerica/…

"Your douche bag is showing"

Wow. What a night.

The girls couldn't take no for an answer. #WhyIRetiredFromPorn

There's only so many times you'll let somebody poop on you. #WhyIRetiredFromPorn

Debbie did everything but me. #WhyIRetiredFromPorn

I turned 30. #WhyIRetiredFromPorn