getting a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY RATFUCK PARAMEDIC l OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER

made a shit ton of masoor dal and garlic naan on Monday and it has sustained me all week

transport nurse told me we were getting dispatched out to eastern Washington and I went “ugh! Can’t you call a helo for that?” and she shrugged and did just that. Anyways I summoned 2 tons of flying metal with an offhanded lazy comment

film highlights Ft. pictures of strangers swinging their arms

walked into the NICU the other day & asked the attending physician who her least favorite baby in the unit was

got Botox on my nuts to get rid of all the wrinkles but now they can’t emote :( Hubris!

how does it feel to know that my entire mendicant order is sexting with your girl you beta protestant cuck

that we continue to persist at all is a testament to our faith in one another

had to transport one of these at work this morning

just had my ruin smote upon the mountain dont text

sure, communism hasn’t really worked out yet, but neither has *love* — should we just stop building love, too?

sitting in the front row of RRR screaming HOW THAT MAKE YOU FEEL WHITE BOY

bitch we in the NICU stabbing babies in the lung

I’m in the back of the ambulance straight up “treating it” And by “it”, haha, let’s just say. My patients

American politics is kind of like this I think

favorite from my top 20?

baby ambulance party style

this is great news for my lifelong dream to become an antipope

big sign past the Yakima County line that says “Welcome To Horsefuck Valley”