It pains me that there isn’t an English equivalent to “eres o te haces?” Asking if they are are stupid or if they think I’m stupid isn’t succinct enough

16 year old girl was complaining to me about ex boyfriend still liking every post and story after she unfollowed him and he refollowed her. I got to hit her with the bad news about the next 50 years of her life….

They should invent a Ritalin that is also a pain reliver and antacid

Theaters should offer a lights on night. I wanted to see Weapons but I’m scared ☹️

As much as I’m dreading being punished by a new football season starting, I have to stop and be grateful it’s not year round like wrestling

It’s the time of year where Incels who can’t even get close to an accidental pregnancy start hating on the kid’s first day of school pictures 🙄

I told a man I wasn’t available for a FaceTime and he assumed it’s because I’m secretly married or living with someone. If I had a man at home, I wouldn’t be online at 3 am complaining about working. I would be making him a lunch and getting ready to go back to bed???

They didn’t have to read Bob Melvin’s tab like that 😂

That clip of Arraez fumbling with the camera reminded me I’ve never posted my Polaroids on here. I post these on instagram as #PetcoOnPolaroid San Diego Padres Petco Park

I was not expecting to see Shanice Kobalowski of Kobalowski Tires in Weapons

I just watched Jurassic Park for the first time as an adult and it pissed me off. Making the helicopter seatbelt with two “females” work was the dumbest foreshadowing

This semester I get to learn chemistry from a dude named Cody with pierced ears, a backwards trucker hat, skinny jeans, and DC skate shoes. Hell yeah.

Resisting the urge to reply to Jeremiah Estrada’s story of him in the low rider with Lil Rob to tell them to put on a seatbelt

We got new Odd Man Out, new Missing Link, new End it. I new August would be good

You’re never too old. My first day back was the morning of my 35th birthday. Honestly, there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing right now. The time will pass anyway and I’m grateful it’s spent doing something fulfilling

I want The Padres to make a plushie friar doll keychain while the Labubu trend is still going

I just heard on a podcast that people who report drinking 6 or more energy drinks over a month, are more likely to have been in a fight, have unprotected sex, and/or drive without a seatbelt in that same month 😳

If it’s true, this might be the most unified we’ve all been since Oceangate

5’6 and 3/4 ☹️