Really not ready for the fucking tourist invasion. #stayhome

"Would you care for any dessert?"...."No, but you can tell us what you have."....What the fuck for!?

"I'll have the soup, and I like it hot."

You order waters all around for a 20-top, then they each order something else to drink... Here's the water bill, have a great day.

Oh, you can't have salt? How's that my fucking problem?

There should be an asshole tax.

Yes, I'm a server. But, I'm still a fucking person. Have some manners and a little respect at least. #waitingworld

Just think, I'll have more money in my apron at the end of the night than you will have in a weeks paycheck, dick. #waitingworld

We really need to soundproof the waitress station...

Why are well-behaved kids so few and far between? #waitingworld

Serve bitches, get money.....or no money, whichever. #waitingworld

Gah, didn't your mama teach you not to smack your food?

So tired of licking assholes and getting 10% out of it. Fuck you. #waitingworld

You request my section every time. You complain every time. You're a dick every time. Fuck off in someone else's section.

People that don't tip go to hell.

I didn't really hate people that much before I started waiting tables.

Don't put trash in your plate if you're not finished. Trash in a plate is signal to pick it up. Just letting you know, assholes.

Three pitchers to fill ONE guys drinks. Fucking ridiculous. Fuck your half-n-half, fuck your water, and fuck you. Have a nice day.