Pray for it to end, and it will.

Relapsed last night, ruined what little relationships I had left. I am utterly alone.

I am such an awful person. I keep falling back to my old ways. I feel like I'm permanently at square one. I know I have improved since I started trying to get better, but it feels so useless when I just undermine it by going back to old habits.

Its bad.

So I made up with my friends, by apologizing and getting rid of everything, but I'm on my last strike. I went for a walk downtown yesterday and it felt like my rose-tinted glasses were gone, I can't go back to that way of life.

Just saw a shooting star, it was so bright, it almost hid the northern lights, it was beautiful.

I actually love life :)