i wish facebook marketplace had a comment section bc where do people find the audacity?

you know, when I see a “this is like Germany right before the Holocaust” tweet, it’s not usually taking Hitler’s side, but here we are.

I’m sorry, but I will not rest until it’s revealed that Chris Messina is Daddy Bridgerton. New York Italian accent and all.

If only there was a moderate-coded, extremely good communicator who is both good on Fox News and has a backstory that could mobilise liberals, who could be parachuted in at the convention.

what if I told you I wanted a gay son AND a thot daughter

me, moments before they said “nah, let’s do a c section”

me, at both the beginning and end of my pregnancy

what i feel like i’m doing to my baby if I lay him down on the bed but haven’t removed all pillows and blankets

you called?

when i offer my baby my lower producing breast and he pulls off, crying, until i give him the higher producer

new and improved! the same 2am “you up?” text, but this time with a crying baby to another mom who may or may not answer you from the void

Chili sun, Bandit moon, Muffin rising

Respectful parenting is wild bc on one hand, my kids will learn empathy bc they’re being *taught* empathy, and not bc it’s their responsibility to emotionally regulate their mother, but on the flip, they won’t have enough trauma to make them funny, so I’m not sure it’s worth it.

please Saturday Night Live - SNL, i need a severance sketch with adam scott and tig as an innie and outie having a fight with each other

I’ll drop just one feed a day at 9 months. 8 months and 26 days:

I love my child more than anything. I would lay down my life for him. But I would not give him the best bite. The next bite? Sure. As many bites as he wants in fact. But the BEST bite? That’s mine.

Elmo?!