Aspirational living doesn’t need to wait until 1st January. Aspirational living doesn’t wait for anyone or anything.

Rita Ora really just confused Jeremy Clarkson with Stephen Fry #MaskedSingerUK

Molly Mae seems woefully Misguided and I don’t know if anybody has realised the irony of this yet.

I’ve been doing it wrong. I’ve been tweeting my actual nighttime dreams for years. I don’t want many of them to come true. Heck.

My passwords have so many exclamation marks on the end from various resets. It looks so excited/furious/unhinged when I see it written down.

Happy #Pride from the best band in town. #PrideInLondon

I worked in a cafe as a teenager and once sold Liam Gallagher a bowl of soup. He got a roll with it.

#dreamtweet Gave birth for the 2nd time within 5 months. Forgot to take maternity leave or tell anyone. Didn’t matter because my kids were actually just hard boiled eggs (seemed normal) so quite easy to manage. I took them into town in a Tupperware and misplaced it, v upsetting.

I don’t know why I wanted a cuppa soup but I do now remember that however long you wait before taking a sip, it will burn every part of your mouth. Which makes you hurriedly swallow it and burn every part of your insides.

#dreamtweet I came up with ‘BatchMan’ as a fictional superhero to promote the benefits of meal prepping. I don’t think I’ve had any better ideas in my waking life tbh.