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If our government won’t let us sing in church, then bless God we will hum in Jesus name.

Twitter: A place to say anything you want to say without getting punched in the face.

Anticipation is building for your next social media post. Don’t let us down.

Life before socially distanced church. Remember when “tambourine lady” snuck in right behind you in church when you didn’t know it? Those were the days.

In your opinion, what is the all time best Eddie Van Halen guitar lick?

I turned my Christmas light on one day before the HOA allows it. I’m a real rebel.

The truth is, the squeaky wheel often gets replaced as apposed to getting the grease.

Pastors, If potlucks are any indication of where you’ll be in the vaccine line, I pray you don’t have any underlying health issues.

Came across some mean letters congregants gave me years ago while on their way out. Just curious. Pastors, do you keep them or throw them away? And why?

Well, the way things are going, I give white American cheese no more than a week. Are you happy now?

Microsoft Word just told me that "all together" needs to be "altogether". Seems logical..

Pastors, do you feel like you should exist to build your denomination, or do you think your denomination should exist to build you? If you lean towards the later, is your denomination building you?

Covid or not, if I have to use a bathroom where one of these “germ fountains” is located, I hold my breath! One day someone’s gonna find me passed out at the foot of a urinal in a puddle of my own pee.

Anyone know why @northworstsem’s account was suspended?

These kinds of arrangements can bring out the worst in people. #SoundUp

Texts that happen to me all the time. Them: We need to get together for coffee! Me: Yes! Name the time and place, I’ll be there! Them: (No response)

And just like that, a congregants awkward avoiding interactions trigger anxiety from past ministry hurts of friends leaving the church.

Crazy how one small bout of discouragement can drown out a multitude of things to be thankful for.