what do you mean the app that hasn’t successfully deployed since 2021 has a SEV-1? incidents can’t have incidents.

service consists of a frontend and a backend, built separately both have a dev/test/prod cycle FE calls the test environment “staging” BE calls the dev environment "staging" someone announces we’re deleting data from the staging database the whole org is up in arms 🤦‍♂️ 🤦‍♂️ 🤦‍♂️

every programmer gets to fuck around, but only a handful are blessed/cursed with finding out. cohost.org/tef/post/17649…

“If you’re doing what you’re told to do, they are paying you too much.” great news for my employers, I haven’t done what they’ve told me to do in YEARS tidyfirst.substack.com/p/fresh-work-8…

"i don't see any estimates on these tickets" I'll get right on that lol

making programming accessible was a mistake, the rite of passage filtered out the ones that ultimately weaponize their helplessness and incompetence

root cause of today's incident: calling code monkeys software engineers

congratulations, you've created the platonic ideal of a complex systems failure

I only used three colors instead of the full Crayola set to review your architecture doc, stop crying.

"we need load testing" Your service pages everyday with high latency. "yeah but we need load tests to figure out the issues" Like latency? "idk, gotta load test" 😭🤮☠️

The Buck Stops Here Engineering Team

Me to the engineering manager after I finally created the JIRA ticket he asked for 7 times

fuck friday morning meetings too.

they don't let me have interns any more because the last one laughed out loud when they offered him a full time position. true story.

no, but you don’t understand — I will work for literally half rate if you let me throw Apache out.

when a client has a complete lack of any process, your project becomes like a chapter of Interstellar. what should be a dev task becomes an ops task because 15 minutes on ops world is like 4 hours on dev world.