Last night, dreamt a belt loop broke on my jeans. For lunch I had a cheese sandwich. This cat couldn't slow down even if he wanted to.

What's a movie that always makes you lick an abacus? Mine's How To Make An American Quilt.

How does Shredder from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise like his duck? Shreddered! (Shredded)

If I was a singer I'd call myself Lent then when the announcer asked the crowd to give it up for me they wouldn't know whether to cheer or not cheer for a month or so and Lent would be laughing himself sick at the audience's existential crisis.

Still have my ticket to that Toni Braxton and Bill Hicks concert that never happened.

When you know your crew set you up to win pass the parcel.

Would hardly call Mary Poppins depressing.

When you're a kidnapped scientist and the villain is screaming at you to finish the invention. Incredibly stressful and annoying. "I'm doing it!" Selfish.

Which singer shits sweets if you smack his arse hard enough? Frank Piñata

Bring back tumbleweed gifs to confirm you live.

Colin Farrell talking with his real voice in costume as The Penguin when wrapping production.

Norris McWhirter jumping out the hedge dressed as Robespierre singing On A Ragga Tip. What's your favourite wedding day memory?

Me: *caught stealing Stilton from an Italian actor's fridge* MB: That's Monica's Belluccis!

Reminder of the best moment of any Band Aid.

Chas: "Why did you shoot your dog?" Dave: "Rabid." Chas: "Rabid?" Dave: "Rabid." Chas: "Rabid?" Dave: "Rabid, rabid, rabid, rabid, rabid."

Sea lions are faster than humans on both land and sea, so if you face one in a triathlon, you really need to make up time on the cycling.