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The bright side of submitting dozens of resumes without landing a job is being invested enough to deep dive into all the surprising corporate drama and hot goss on Glassdoor Spoiler alert: they’re all bad!!

Obviously every generation thinks the slang of the next generation is gibberish but we’ve gotta admit we’ve crossed a line with skibidi, it’s anarchy in the streets for these kids

Each new Supreme Court decision sounds like a caricature villain version of a Supreme Court you might see in a B-movie about an apocalyptic future, just breathlessly and remorselessly bad calls case after case

Something about the polls to remember is even if all of the options that aren’t Joe Biden are trailing behind him in the head to head polls, they aren’t currently running and HE IS, with a modicum of support they could outpace him in no time at all (especially Harris)

That Katy Perry video looks like a music video within a movie, like any second they’re gonna call cut and you’ll see the set and realize the pop star is a vapid villain

Joe Biden has to recognize that his campaign is insufficient to overcome this, this has to be the last straw

Locked down my tweets because I'm anticipating going through a long interview process and I want a job but my god, I wanna yap on every bewildering take here so bad. Enjoy your freedom, friends!

You know, it’s weird, I’m watching the RNC but it feels like I’m hitting myself in the head repeatedly with a hammer

Day 3 of an increased dose of phentermine and I’m suddenly prone to crying spells, a gust of wind could hurt my feelings rn, spilled milk could send me into an existential crisis, burnt toast could be the end of me, but I’m losing weight, so, you know, 5 stars, no complaints

Having a crisis of confidence before a job interview tomorrow, so in a move that couldn’t possibly backfire, I’m getting bangs hours beforehand

I was certainly anticipating misogyny for Harris but I must have been expecting the dog-whistle kind because the ham-fisted “she’s a childless slut who slept her way up” right out of the gate is appalling me on a level that makes me feel excruciatingly naive

For years I was proud that I could fact check progressives and they were mostly sharing accurate information compared to conservatives but engagement bait has changed the game entirely, I’ve never seen so much misinfo and disinfo on the left than now, it’s disheartening and gross

Imagine your high school social studies teacher makes a joke on a national stage implying that his opponent fucked a couch lmao

These motherfuckers equate the lives of children who live and breathe and think and feel and talk and laugh and sing and dance and learn and play — with zygotes