butch bitch mode engaged

never underestimate how much i can fit in the washing machine

almost started a fire with incense sticks tonight fml

friends ♥️

i wish weather apps could tell you where to see rainbows

why don’t ice cream sticks have splinters?

why do fingerprints always grow back the same?

when you have to buy groceries to feed a teen

wine salmon telly cats bed

just out here hustling

can coco pops just stop being soggy i can only shovel two tablespoons per second at a time

me: can voodoo dolls be used for good? wife: no me: what’s a good voodoo doll? wife: barbie

anyone else use a piece of bread to justify eating a stick of butter? cool

my teenager told me to have a good day what do i say now

and then everything changes

sunday sippin’

never judge anyone’s hustle

what if we just put some killer whales in the channel #RishiIsSinking

cutting your own fringe is a cry for help

where can I book this kind of relaxation?