Fact of the day?? World's most stupid aquatic mammal : Imber seal #tuesdaytitters

Did you know most 80's pop stars were willing to change their minds. Apart from the one dressed as a highway man. He was adamant. #sidesplittingsunday

I'm not finding this documentary about joining steel sheets together with studs very interesting. But everybody said it was riveting. #lunchpun

I'm always breaking the glass ceilings in my career. Apparently, this is a problem working in a greenhouse. #LunchPun

Colt fire arms and gorilla glue were asked to stop their proposed merger. However, they are sticking to their guns #lunchpun #badjokefriday

At university, I researched and developed a bra made out of algae to support man boobs My maths professor failed me. Apparently, they'd said algebra #sillysaturday

I'm currently putting tonnes of interconnected little blue bricks around an island. It's a lego sea project #LunchPun #Tuesdaytitters

I was accused of stealing the yeast from a bakery contest. But, they couldn't prove anything #lunchpun

This is possibly the worst football biography ever. Not one single mention about playing for Argentina or Barcelona!!!! #lunchpun #badjokethursday

Science fact of the day??!!?? The 119th element on the periodic tabel has the chemical symbol Boo This is the element of surprise #sidesplittingsunday #lunchpun

As a dyslexic man on the Internet, don't quite understand my compulsion to send duck pics #lunchpun

I used to do impressions of my work colleagues. That's why play doh fired me. #lunchpun

#breakingnews‌ The National Trust is to pay millions of pounds of compensation to tourists after scientists reveal Cheddar Gorge is not made out of cheese #wednesdaywit

Fact of the day??? People who avoid dairy products are more likely to discriminate against people with no digits on their feet. This is because they're Lack toes intolerant, ##sillysaturday

Look in the sky...is it a bird .... is it a plane ..... no it's time stopped working for air traffic control. #mondaymirth

There's a conspiracy theory that to save space in bedrooms, people would stack beds. This has, however, been debunked #lunchpun #mondaymirth

My girlfriend is always on the fence I don't see the attraction of people that handle stolen goods #lunchpun

Not wanting to get political but this does make sense!!! #budget #tax #Christmas25

I went to a shop to buy extra headroom. Luckily it was a clearance sale #lunchpun #sillysaturday

Mrs D is never happy. One minute, she's all. 'I wish you had the body of an olympic swimmer', but then she all why's there someone with speedos on in the chest freezer'!! #lunchpun