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Anyone seen my pistol? It was right there on the top of the toilet tank half an hour ago, I swear. Hey, waiter have you seen my...?

Ahem... Look man, there is *no such thing* as a routine traffic stop. #tyvm #duh #safety

WOOP WOOP WOOOOOP!

I *am* watching you... “@alejandro_edm: The Police YOU CANT FAV MY TWEET. YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING OVER US REMEMBER?”

To whomever is trying to change my Twitter password: You're under arrest. Put your hands on your head. I'm watching you.

Slow Down, Pull Over! DO IT NOW!

Watching you.

Before I ask you any questions, there are a few things I need to tell you...