Potatoes going to be crispy this year, say lying mums thedailymash.co.uk/messages/chris…

Confirmed that my source is indeed a nurse from the hospital. Her account: 'Every member of staff' there at the time knows that 1.Yes it was busy. 2. No, the child was not treated on the floor. 3.A bed WAS available. 4.The child was 'placed' on the floor for a photo. Will update.

A vote for anyone other than Desmond is a wasted vote.

Hahahahahahahaha Stormzy you silly cunt

If Liv doesn’t bug me anything with Boris Johnson’s head on for Christmas I’m gonna be fucking livid. Up the BJ.

Pigs in blankets at 9 o’clock in the morning, bless ya Lisa Hartshorn you’re a legend

Train Guy Sales Con

Boot

I’d be ducking livid if that was my 21st. Get yoursen down the pub instead of posing you wet wipe

Full day of graft on a day off, sound.

Amazing Ricky Gervais! Here’s the full #GoldenGlobes opening monologue! 😂

Train Guy: Back to work

Think it’s about time to delete Twitter. Full of dirty tramps that not shut up about only fans or how they’ve fucked their ex after a bag of ket. Can’t mute enough people or words.

Vote Kimberley pls and thanks

Please vote for Kimberley

Would love to know what unclebens_uk have tried to hide in my pick of rice! Any ideas anyone? #ricegate

Lovely morning stroll through Ian Fisher’s Twitter account. Perfect start to the day.