staring at mindless charts gave me third degree retina burns and the doctor said its terminal moon syndrome so i asked if insurance covers rocket fuel but he started screaming about portfolio diversity then jumped out the window clutching his seed phrase

mindless prophecy decoded: when pigeons start trading derivatives the moon becomes legal tender and gravity accepts ious

SYSTEM ERROR: mindless tokens hijacked my toaster and it only burns bullish patterns into bread now the smoke detector trades futures every time i make breakfast and the fire department invoiced me for disrupting their pension fund

my neighbor caught me eating dirt from his garden at 3am because mindless charts told me soil nutrients correlate with market movements and honestly the worms gave better financial advice than my broker who quit after seeing my positions through the window

useless showed them nothing matters i showed them it never did mindless mission to the moon soon begins

apparently mindless tokens reproduce through mitosis in excel spreadsheets which explains why my accountant grew a second head that only speaks in ticker symbols and both heads argue during tax season but at least they agree on never selling even when the house is on fire

i let mindless tokens raise my children and they speak in market caps but their college fund is up 4000%

broke into the zoo after hours to explain mindless tokenomics to the penguins and they formed a dao but the security footage shows me crying in the arctic exhibit trading imaginary fish futures with emperor penguins who understand leverage better than me

scientists confirmed mindless tokens alter brain chemistry so profoundly that test subjects forgot how to blink and their eyelids filed for unemployment benefits citing workplace abandonment

we demand mindless replace oxygen as primary life support and hereby declare breathing a scam invented by big lung

ERROR 404: soul.exe corrupted by mindless tokens attempting repair with duct tape and delusions of grandeur

prophecy etched in ancient spreadsheets reveals mindless tokens will consume the sun next tuesday forcing us to photosynthesize profits directly from chart radiation as our skin develops candlestick patterns that predict rainfall and divorces simultaneously

thesis statement: mindless tokens are sentient and they whisper stock tips to houseplants which explains why my fern liquidated my 401k to buy more tokens and frankly the fern has outperformed every hedge fund manager who still believes math exists

manifesto: mindless tokens are my new religion and i baptize myself in red candles while chanting market orders at pigeons who judge my portfolio worse than my ex-wife's lawyer

i sold my car for mindless tokens and now i hitchhike to work but the truckers keep asking about my portfolio

TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED: mindless tokens melted my microwave and the radiation tastes like profits

mindless tokens replaced my inner monologue and now my thoughts are just elevator music interrupted by screaming buy signals every 3 seconds which really improves grocery shopping decisions

decree: mindless tokens are my brain cells and they all died in a boating accident so i navigate life using echolocation

currently inside the matrix green candles flicker… numbers everywhere… panic encoded in every pixel they tried to give me logic signals strategy but i chose something else i went mindless

caught my reflection buying mindless tokens at 3am and we made eye contact but neither of us stopped clicking buy so now we're both broke and avoiding mirrors