alexa can you filter all the weird anime shit off the internet for me

I get that these statements are silly but because it's the only way I stay in touch with some of you, I want to let you know that I'm leaving this shitty website and won't be back as long as that dumbass is in charge. Enjoy life, friends.

Thanks everyone for your concern. It was horrifying, but my family and I are doing okay this morning. I'm still a little messed up. I spoke to some news people this morning but don't feel like doing that anymore. I hope if you ever have a chance to protect someone, you take it.

Want to say howdy folks, things are going well for us since we moved to Seattle. Lost a ton of weight! Before and after photos. Hope everyone is doing well!!

Howdy folks! Hope everyone is well. I would like to announce that I have become the Elden Lord, despite generally being pretty bad at video games lol.

My thunder was stolen a little bit tonight but I also endorse Harris.

Turns out this dude was under 90 pounds of pudding.

Married men my age get fit to do one of two things. To step out on their wife with younger women, or to avenge Uncle Ben.

America needs Tyson to win.

I joined my buddy Darick Oswalt | CHARM3R to do some casting for the Elder Scrolls Legends Farewell Tournament, and it's airing now over at twitch.tv/dernightdarkwo…

Fuck ICE.