Need to begin acting a tiny bit more gay. It’s become clear to me that women like their men kind of gay. Something I will begin working on.

Fuck just finished Entourage in 2 weeks (5th time watching)

Be careful if you are roaming the skyways of Minneapolis today. Full on revenge of the gays going on.

Haha just had a dream that I was in the Entourage universe and I used Johnny Dramas phone to venmo myself $300k from John Stamos account.

Just played a par 3 course with 2 90 year old women. One of them hadn’t played in so long that there was a mouse nest in her bag. She had me flip it over to get all the mice out and about 15 baby mice fell out of the bag. Then a hawk flew in and massacred all 15 of the mice.

6 tinder matches today. All 6 on onlyfans 😁

I guess I have to spend my Friday night at twin peaks trying to pick up one of the bartenders 🤷🏻‍♂️

I forgot you’re allowed to sit at a bar alone on Wednesdays

Having no friends isn’t even that bad. Just gamble all day 🤣

Hey Buffalo Wild Wings your new maple bourbon sauce is fucking awful. I wouldn’t feed it to my dog. Fuck you.

I hope the bears lose by 1-3 points to the big mighty vikes this weekend

Beginning to believe in the gay again

Ok 1 more year then I will accept the inevitability of having a disgustingly fat slob wife

Just came back from an 6 hour twin peaks shift. Scrolling Eros.com, but will not do it!

Are there any woman peloton instructors that are super hot but also really mean and talk down to you?

Is it bad that my blood pressure is 153/97?