At the fire station, I work and live in close quarters with other guys and we are usually comfortable in each other’s space, but as soon as you go over to one of the guy’s homes, it’s like going into you’re friends parent’s bedrooms. Awkward.

I guess Jesus fired some apostles and is looking to hire! I guess you can stop praying also and call this line direct. Hope it doesn’t go to voicemail if your in a bind.

Accurate...

“...I’m the fastest treadmill runner ever!” Uh, really? Because it only goes up to 12. #oneupper

Will somebody please have 4 kids and name them after the Ninja Turtles? The parents will just have to fight to figure out who will be Master Splinter and who will be Shredder.

Random person: “you have way too much time on your hands” My rebuttal : “I accomplish way too much with the little time I have.” BOOM! Debate won. 🎤 dropped.

I find my best ideas come to me when I’m in the shower. The problem is I write them down in the steamed up glass and when I get out, dry off... wait, what was I thinking about again?

They say laughter is the best medicine. I still have yet to stop someone’s heart attack with a joke while at work as a fireman.

I took a Lyft last night. The driver informed me he was deaf by use of a sign. Lyft gives you an option to rate the driver and 4 categories as to why the ride was good. I gave my driver 5 ⭐️ and selected “Friendly Conversation.”

Sometimes I make people LOL. I hope I don’t make them LOAF. (Laugh Out A Fart)

Donuts are a serious weakness for me... I can’t help it. I say I’m only going to have one and then all of a sudden, I’m 5 donuts deep and don’t even remember my name or how I got to the place I’m at.

I love people watching, but then, I’m pretty weird myself and can only imagine what other people perceive of me.

I like riding bikes in New Zealand.

Fact: All Volkswagens smell like crayons. Try and disprove me. #facts

I got into a VW in Dubai today... it didn’t smell like crayons. 🤯

Mt. Everest.

I am about to embark on a surfing adventure in Indonesia. To get there I am flying Singapore Airlines business class Round Trip for $75 with the help of using my Chase Ultimate rewards earned through everyday credit card spending. Stay tuned for the updates.

Dislike the people of earth, thinking of moving. Suggestions?

Prizes and inspiration await! #AAdvantage40th #giveaway Rules: bit.ly/31cWRDc aadvantage40th.com