Dolly Parton singing “We are the Champions” at halftime of the Cowboys game on Thanksgiving has to be bad luck for Jerry’s boys

I’ve got a weird super power that I always cum before the girl #sealteam6

Been getting a lot of Draft Kings and Onlyfans ads on this app recently. And it’s making me think it’s time to start betting on myself and start to create content.

If it weren’t for my addiction to pussy, money, and weed I don’t think it’s crazy to think my athletic career would look very similar to Baker Mayfield’s career.

There is something romantic about a $2 beer

Please god let the Ravens beat the Chiefs and have Taylor Swift have a David Tepper like meltdown in her suite

Sports Illustrated laid off a majority of their workforce at the end of January and then the new employees decided to make Brittany Mahomes a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model… lay them off again!!

As a man you can’t wear a scarf. I don’t care how cold it is.

Ireland is the Long Island of Europe

Me talking to chicks at the bar

Can’t call anyone “brother” anymore because of that loser Sketch going viral. Thanks a lot Sketch

Getting semi-ghosted (waits about 24 hours to respond) by a girl may be worse than just getting ghosted. That sliver of hope really kills you.

Saw a homeless guy with airpods. Make this make sense

There is nothing quite like receiving a death threat to spice up your week

Are run clubs just like middle school where the fastest guy automatically gets the hottest girl?

LSU Odell Beckham Jr. jersey in the bar. No idea who this guy is rooting for but I think he is a football fan.

Is McDonald’s Irish food?

If I was a painter, I’d wear all black coveralls to show everyone how good I was at my job. Painters who wear all white don’t care about precision.