One more episode of "My Little Pony", pop a Valium. Fly to Finland.

ポストをタップするとケンタウロスになるやつ

Nothing better than some #brisket.. Maybe except for some #football, #yep #imgeorgecooper

Rest in peace Dave Blunts. Wow. Can’t believe you’re actually gone.

to regulate a toddler at bedtime i wouldn't give in OR force it. i would simply discuss the stakes of the issue with them calmly and rationally. "you dont HAVE to go to bed. but if we won't get any alone time, then mommy & daddy will get a divorce, & it will be your fault"

Yoda is a bad person, full stop. He should lose his Jedi license for this bullshit.

Ontario Delta Outlaw matthew 🇵🇸 Here he is in 2006. You know what a chameleon he is 🤫

Being a dad is probably fun because you’re just smarter funnier and stronger than the people you spend 90% of your time interacting with (wife and children) and they respect and fear you (because of your drinking)

My friend Simon was in a car crash with his uncle. Sadly, his uncle died. Simon was saved from the wreckage but lost both his legs. However, the surgeon was able to sew his uncles legs to his body and proved successful. Now that Simon has fully recovered, he has decided to

first one of these to actually hit me where it hurts...FUCK...

fat child your drink is putrid

yes hello mossad: i am a very weak man

my grandma used to say “keep $10 in your pockets to buy a pretty girl some flowers” grandma rest your soul but these $10 going to some vbucks

In my career as a lumberjack, I cut down exactly 82,546 trees. I know that, because I kept a log.

This week marked the five thousandth performance of the Broadway musical "Cats." It also marked the five thousandth time a guy turned to his wife and said, "What the hell is THIS?"

Godspeed, Mr. Adams.

DyingGaul What an odd response.

Gamers are trying to make Cory in the House the highest-rated user-reviewed game on Metacritic The DS title currently sits second at 9.4, just behind Clair Obscur at 9.6

16 and 17 year olds no longer allowed any liquids