a creature feature... featuring... the creature

wearing these with the jeans that say “lucky you” behind the zipper

The worker bee trapped in there with her: “Heh- wasn’t this place was just buzzing a moment ago..?”

When I close my eyes and try to picture an apple, I see a rapid montage of everything that could ever exist

It’s just a joke dude. I don’t actually mean the surface level ideas. Just the secondary implied ones

No you don’t understand the weed helps my schizophrenia

CEO of “I can’t do this anymore”

“May I meet you”

Trim? Effay? Wouldn’t expect a retarded bitch to understand a little Hedi wigger swag.

1st grade vocabulary teacher said “pump” is what you do to gas in a car, and has nothing to do with the pedals. Apparently you cannot pump a pedal. Only push. Fuck that senile hag. I have spent the rest of my life proving you can rape the gas pedal instead.

situationship just said she thought we were monogamous

Lord have mercy on me

Quarter zip blacks and suit jacket whites are fighting on campus

first man to achieve negative IQ